Monday, January 25, 2021
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How To Cope After Being Cheated On

Cheating Partner?
Let me start by being honest. Recently my partner cheated on me. Full blown set up. He was in denial till the very last minute. I saw all the obvious signs over a period of 2 months that something is fishy. I loved him too much to suspect. All the zodiac compatibility crap, deep emotional bonds and mature understanding crap essays were thrown out of the window. I won’t deny it sucks big time.

It sucks to be cheated upon. Nonetheless to say it brings complex feeling which are hard to deal with. It brings a feeling of anger embarrassment anxiety and betrayal! You start questioning yourself from the base as to where you go wrong in life and relationships. But there are a bunch of reasons your partner cheats on you. It is not be only because of physical attraction or they are bored of you. There are numerous reasons people cheat. Anyways the focus is on you. I am going to tell you that it’s going to be okay, not on immediate basis but definitely soon. If you are in such a situation, my tips will come handy :

Remember it’s not you to be blamed !

To begin with, it’s not you who has to be blamed when you are cheated upon. When things down wrong, it doesn’t have to be your fault. There are several factors people cheat. They do it out of habit or other psychological factors.  Your partner can explain as to why they did this. But those reasons definitely are not you. It’s them. Listen to them. It will be evident as to why they found it easy to cheat upon you.

Healing will take time

Please accept that it will suck for a certain time period.  The anxious feeling, the mourning of loss, loss of appetite are all common signs. Go through those feelings as it is a natural tendency. If you feel like crying, be it. We know things go wrong. This doesn’t mean you have to like it, or that you agree with it. It just means that you’re not going to waste time-fighting something you can’t change. Instead, focus on mending your heart.

Start putting yourself first

The sooner you follow this tip, the quicker your heart heals. Make yourself a priority. Trust me it’s not selfish to put your priorities first. Choose to do things which brings you happiness. Be it your favourite food, a favourite movie or any fun activity. Whenever you feel vacuum,  distract yourself by indulging in physical exercise, quick jog or dancing to that killer playlist. Your heart is bruised and there is no reason you should cope with anymore bad treatment. Do your thing, The world can wait.

Gang up with your squads

Surround yourself with your near and dear ones. You need your gang when your heart is broken. Indulge in your friends who will listen to your full story and will always have your back. Meet that supporting cast. Nothing cheers you up than your buddies. So feel free and drive to them.

Don’t take impulsive decisions!

Cool down a bit. Cheating brings you the feeling of resentment and rejection. It’s tempting to lose your cool and fire angry hate texts to the cheating partner. Avoid public display of rage. Leave it to the Bollywood movies. Put a leash on your temper and avoid messing with anyone just to get a good fight. Leave the idea of dramatic ugly fight no matter how tempting it seems at that moment.  Let off that steam in physical exercise, go for that jog.

Don’t let fear drive your decisions

Being cheated is the worst treatment your partner can give. There is no right decision as to stay with or leave the cheating partner. You got to decide what your heart feels right. Don’t let the fear over drive you into decisions. As in, the fear of not leaving the cheating partner because you don’t want to be single and lonely. Or the fear of leaving them because you don’t want to be hurt again by the people you love. Take as much as time as you need to make the right decision. Heal that bruised heart .

Seek professional help.

Cheating destroys your psychological and emotional being. Talk to a relationship coach or a doctor as to how to move on. You can opt to go solo or together to seek help if you want to figure out how things went haywire and  If you are willing to work it out. There is nothing wrong in asking for help. It is very important mend your broken heart.

Don’t jump to conclusions

Dear readers may be you caught your cheating partner red-handed or you are just guessing when things turn fishy. Ignorance, fading away, tip-toeing, hiding the phone, avoiding contact, etc are signs of signs of cheating. In most of the cases, people start second-guessing to what their friends have to comment or inform about your cheating partner. Don’t jump to conclusions on the basis of gossips and bulletin. May be there is something else on your partners mind. Directly ask them and talk to them if something is bothering them. Confront them when they are caught cheating. Listen to their explanations and then derive a conclusion what is best for you.

In cases of cheating in love relationships, it’s the cheating partner who has issues and not you. Believe the fact also that if your partner cheated you, they never loved you in the first place. They prioritised their need before you whatever that may be. They were not thinking about you while cheating but only feeding their egos. It’s just that they have trouble confronting it to you for the fear of your reaction. Stop dwelling on the assumption that you lacked somewhere through the relationship. Trust me, the cheating partner suffers as much as you do. Because nobody likes to hurt a loving heart. They are bound to miss your real affection. Hope my suggestions are helpful.

Courtesy – Rimjhim Jain

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