A good relationship cannot survive on mind games and power. Do you remember the craving and intimacy in the initial stage of your relationship. Recall how your partner couldn’t get enough of you and your attention. Now you feel that the partner no longer cares for you. When you look at them you no longer feel that butterflies in your stomach. The spark is gone You no longer feel that you have the upper hand in the relationship.
It is natural to feel blue and sad when this happens. You begin to play mind games to get the upper hand. Your attempts to bring your lover close to you goes to failure .
There are many husband wife relationships or live in relationships where the other partner is more stronger or dominant than you. They are stubborn on their choices and opinion. And there is no way you should take any sort of abuse in case they tend to treat you in that manner. Nor do you have to accept a cheating partner. There are many toxic relationships where one partner holds more power than the other. Such live in relationship /husband wife relations are unhealthy and bound to demise leading to anguish and unhappiness.
If you feel your partner is pulling away, don’t play the manipulative games to regain the power. Since the power brings you temporary happiness. It’s the ‘love’ acceptance and admiration and praise you want. Your negativity comes from the lack of these above mentioned features.
The question is how do you get it all back? What steps should you take to bring it all back? How do you love a person and get reciprocal love?
Few steps to avoid total failure in relationship :
Take equal responsibility
When things go wrong, look above and take equal responsibility for the things gone wrong. A heart felt apology set lot of things straight. If you are no longer on talking terms, try other ways to communicate to pass on the message. Trust me, they will respond at earliest when they realise the apology is genuine. Taking equal responsibility for doomed relationships opens the new door for reconciliation. Heartfelt private conversation solves a lot of issues.
Let go a little
If you feel your partner no longer cares for you, there is no need for desperate attention. It is only because you have shown your eagerness to spend time with them or push the relationship forward. You can’t push it by any means. Don’t make that relationship the only passion in your life. It only pushes your partner away. Give them a little of yourself. Spend time on other things and give them space. When they think you have other things to do, they will be attracted to you.
Respect your partner wishes
Listen to them when they are expressing themselves. Specially when they are venting. Pay attention to what they desire. Now I don’t say that all wishes should be granted. If your partner is looking for three some and you don’t want! Then be it hahah. What I mean is granting some of their wishes doesn’t mean disrespecting. Focus on the positive qualities of your partner and respect them. Listen to them with open heart.
If they do not respect you and you do not respect them, the relationship is irreparably damaged. Sex is also an important key to your relationship. Most of the relationships doom on this key factor. Observe and remember the good vibes you both shared together and bring it back by talking about it. Set a relationship goal as to how to talk to them about their desires and wants.
Set rules and boundaries
Make it very clear as to what treatment you will not put up with. But be sure you address it when they are sober and ready to listen. If they repetitively make hurtful remarks or mistreat you, use a low voice and address it to them. Use kind tone when addressing to them as to what you don’t like in their behaviour and what you expect from them. If they are aggressive types and drink alcohol, talk to them when they are calm and in senses. If they have abusive nature, then it must be addressed. It’s definitely a toxic relationship You don’t have to be mistreated. Set boundaries for them and yourself.
Don’t play mind games
If you purposely play mind games of being distant, cold or give silent treatment, then you may get increased attention of your partner but only on temporary basis. You got to avoid playing mind games since manipulating won’t take you far. To have a lasting effect, make genuine efforts to reach them. Be it physical touch, small talk or text messages etc. If you frequently act rude or mean, ignore your partner, or act cold and distant, your partner will eventually lose interest in you.
Be an adult and make up for your mistakes
If it’s you on the cheating part, that is if you have cheated on your partner, you need to genuinely apologize and accept that it will take time for your partner to accept you. Your partner may no longer love you or trust you like they did before. You have to give them time and show them love on daily basis. Hoping you won’t commit any more infidelities, genuinely show them love may be eventually they will start liking you or loving you back again.
Failing relationships are common these days but not a good news to hear. It is very difficult to have love. Love is not easy to find. Value what you already have and take measures to your best capacity to work on your present relationships. Set relationship goals. With God’s blessings, no good effort goes waste. Remember!
Credit: Rimjhim Jain