So Yes! You have come speeding into this dating world. You met this cute person and immediately hit it off. You start going out together and plan future dates. You find yourself thinking about this person all the time and feel you have a strong connection. Your date makes you comfortable in all possible ways. He makes you feel so comfortable that you start planning something special for him. Those morning texts, impromptu calls etc makes you feel remembered. Then suddenly one morning they stop messaging you calling you. The replies take longer than expected. They stop responding to your text and calls. Their replies are late and texts turn into one word answer. When you call them and if they pick up, they sound disinterested or give vague answers. Consider yourself into the category of ‘Ghosted’. He is clearly ghosting you.
Now starts a period of anxiety. You feel you are losing the control over the relationship. You start to wonder what went wrong or where you said or did something wrong that your date stopped responding you.
It’s a clear case of ghosting. Now the constant question on our mind is why he is behaving strange. It is as if we are seeing a completely new aspect of that person. We feel so out of sync and it drives our mind crazy calculating every word we said or every little act that might have created this rift. First we have to acknowledge the fact that we are at the receiving end of the ghosting. Lets figure out few reasons why they are ghosting us :
*They are genuinely busy
Hey! Now may be they are actually caught up in work obligations. May be they are stressful about their career, finance or job responsibilities. May be they have a tough time. They might be in a situation which they are apprehensive to share about so to avoid sharing their work stress, they resolve to lesser communication. In such cases only time is the factor which can decide the future of the relationship.
*Deviation Of Interest
Your new date might loose interest in you but they want to avoid ugly confrontation. They are not motivated enough to meet you or see you. Hence they start acting weird and show strange antics. They might be double dating and they start taking more interest in another partner. Thus they ignore your calls and change plans to meet last minute.
Sometimes your negative or hurtful comments really hurt them. Some people are very sensitive to criticism and thus they shut themselves or pull themselves away from you. May be they find something irritating or awkwardness in you and come to conclusion that you are not right for them. And since they don’t feel you are the right one, hence they opt to ghost you.
*You were never their priority
You are not in their priority or in other words we can say they interacted with you as per their convenience. All this while they have been calling you or texting you according to their convenience. They put you in least of your priority.
They might be dating people other than you at the same time. Since dating multiple people divides his time and efforts in calling them, meeting them and texting them. Thus they cut short the time on you when they start to develop their feelings for other dates. Clearly they resort to ghosting you.
Ghosting is an immature act. It brings misery, low self esteem and suspicion in the ghosted person. The anticipation of text message and call brings a sick churning feeling in stomach. It is cruel to treat a person like that for no fault of theirs. Being honest about your feelings and clear communication not only saves a mess but also show respect for the feelings of the other person. In case you are the ghoster, quit playing mind games and hard to get act. Keep your conscience clear and communicate openly with your date. This will save a great deal of disappointment and heart break.